1. |
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Dumb Idiot Crap (Worst Band in the City)
We're the worst band in the city
We're the worst band, we're so shitty
We're the worst band
We play dumb idiot crap
Well you don't know where to go, it's Friday
Too many shows going on tonight
You can't stay at home
Got your five bucks burning a hole in your pocket
Are you ready to go when I say,?
"It's time for some craptastic crap"
The choice is yours
Well take your pick, no looking back
Well on one hand, you've got Les Tabernacles
Two hands, you've got Choke
Three hands, some shitty band you've never heard of before
(That's us)
Still don't know where to go it's Saturday
Too lazy for a show tonight
You stay at home
Sit around and listen to some tunes wabababa
Get your best CDs it's OK
Don't you wish you could hear our crap?
Well I guess not
'Cause we suck suck suck suck suckity suck
Well on one hand, you've got Les Tabernacles
Two hands, you've got SMAK!
Three hands, some shitty band
You must be on crack (you're coming to see us)
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2. |
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If I Grow Up, I Wanna Be an Anarchist
If I grow up, I wanna be an anarchist
I wanna be an anarchist, if I grow up
If I grow up, I wanna be an anarchist
I think I wanna be an anarchist, if I grow up
My teachers at school would ask me
What I wanna be when I grow up
I never knew quite what to say
If I grow up, I wanna be an anarchist
'cause I know that I won't fit in, if I grow up
If I grow up, I wanna be an anarchist
'cause I know that I won't fit in, if I grow up
If I grow up, I wanna be an anarchist
I wanna be an anarchist, if I grow up
If I grow up, I wanna be an anarchist
I wanna be an anarchist, if I grow up
If I grow up, I think you know that I won't fit in
So just let me be a stupid kid
And not grow up
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3. |
Drummers Are Idiots
01:50
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Drummers are Idiots (Guitarists are Assholes)
Drummers are idiots
Guitarists are assholes
Singers are stupid, arrogant jerks
I try to write a song
I know you won't like it
Can't we play it through
And try to make it work?
Just try to keep time
I won't complain
Just get off my back
It drives me insane
Drummers are idiots
they can't count in
It doesn't make sense
And my lyrics suck
Drummers are idiots
Guitarists are assholes
When they're not quitting,
Bass players rock
Try to play a whole song
It won't happen
What are you doing?
Why did you stop?
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4. |
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Ballad of the Asshole Band
Once upon a time there was this band
And they were all assholes
All the people that saw them at the show
Said that they were assholes
I'll say what they said
I'll tell what they did
They say what they say
And they think it's OK, but it's shit
This is the ballad of the asshole band
This is the ballad of the asshole band
The sound guy at the show had lots to say
About how they were assholes
Even when they weren't up on the stage
They're still stupid assholes
When the asshole band broke up
They went and joined another band of assholes
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5. |
One Chord Rock
01:35
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One-Chord Rock
I'm keeping it simple this time
And I don't want to have to justify
My retarded mind
All I wanna use is three chords
They make me feel so true
Just to be yours
It takes away the blues
'Cause I love, I love, I love the one-chord rock
I love, I love, I love the two-chord rock
I love, I love, I even love the three-chord rock
I love, I love, I love the one-chord rock
It's gonna get dealt with this time
And I know that we're gonna work it out
And soon we'll be fine
Better than ever just like three chords
They make me feel so true
Just to be yours
It takes away the blues
Keeping it simple this time
So I don't wanna do a third verse
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6. |
Prince of the Nerd Herd
00:59
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Prince (Crown Prince) of the Nerd Herd
No one likes me, everyone hates me
I'm a loser shit
Kick me down I think I'm getting up
It's not just 'cause I'm ugly
It's not just 'cause I smell
I'm the prince (crown prince)
Prince of the nerd herd
I'm a loser, I'm a geek, I'm a wannabe freak
And I can't get a date
When you look at me, it makes you laugh
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7. |
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Happy as Dog Poop (I Feel Warm Inside)
You make my head spin
And I guess that's mostly good
Yeah, hey!
Let's go eat at BP's
'Cause you sure do love your food
Yummy!
Still getting used to my new smile
And now it's back again like a happy, steaming pile
I'm as happy as dog poop
And you're eating chicken soup
I'm as happy as dog poop
I feel warm inside
My brain's mush
And I hope that's mostly fun
Squishy
Please don't kill me
I know sometimes I'm pretty dumb
Blargh, whee!
Still getting used to your old smile
But I'll get over it, recover in a while
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8. |
Shit Shit Shit Fuck Fuck
01:56
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Shit, Shit, Shit, Fuck, Fuck
Well you've had days where you wanted to burn bugs
And you've had days where your nose was filled with slugs
You've been so single, you weren't even alone
You lose your temper what's that for?
What the hell's that for?
Shit, shit, shit, fuck fuck
Well I feel out of luck
Man, that really sucks
You say I swear too much
Whoooahoaao
You've got your hopes up just one too many times
Try to get it figured out, you're just a fuckin' slime
You've had your chances, but were they really real?
There's just no way now how's that feel?
How the hell's that feel?
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9. |
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I Wrote This Song For Me
Well this might not be punk enough for you
I'm keeping it simple this time, it's true
It's just a little tune
It'll be over soon
I wrote this song for me
I wrote this song for me
I wrote this song for me
I wrote this song for me, fuck you
You go on and on about the other bands
You say you like mine just because we're friends
And all I got is dumb
You hate it 'cause it's fun
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10. |
The Only Punk in Penhold
01:40
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The Only Punk in Penhold
You're ready to go
You're ready to free yourself from this hole
Maybe find another
Or maybe find a soul
Every day now like a dream
Empty goodbyes they mean so much to me
You're like the
The only punk in Penhold
You're alone but much more proud
You're like the only punk in Penhold
You're the only punk around
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11. |
The Last Stupid Song
00:58
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The Last Stupid Song (End of Our Record)
It's the end of our record
Hope you had a good time
Hope you haven't lost your faith in punk-rock music
From listening to this crime
Well the good news is that it's over
No more hearing our stupid songs
Thought that you might like it
Guess I'm wrong
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12. |
Sumpn Bout Kids
02:37
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Sump'n 'Bout Kids
'Twas the summer of '99
Our lives ahead seemed so defined
They thought they knew us
They never will
We run outside to the magic hill
Johnny has to go home right now
He wouldn't stay out anyhow
That leaves it all to the rest of us
To show the world our magic bus
We're the kids and we gotta say
We're the kids and there's just no way
But there's one thing I want to know
('cause) I heard it on the radio
I think it's safe to go outside
From the grumps we run and hide
We can go drink lemonade
We can live, don't be afraid
If I had just one more chance
To show the world my leather pants
AM/FM it's all shit to me
So run away to the magic tree
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Brand Shiny (B.S.) Recording Co. Edmonton, Alberta
BRAND SHINY Recording Co. is a squirrel that lives in the bowels of Edmonton, destroying, one by one, the worst minds of our generation. The facts are straight: BRAND SHINY is the mouse in the walls. Try your best to ignore it. Since 2000 it’s been dropping dooks on its own feet. Those who believe have had a hard life trying to explain it to people, trying to fit in at work or in the class room. ... more
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