1. |
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Family-Free Xmas Dinner (No Need For Pants)
Let's have a xmas eve dinner
With just a couple friends
With no family around
There's no need for pants
The girl of your dreams
And a bachelor-food turkey
We never wanna sleep
'Cause tomorrow there's no worky
This is what we're gonna do next xmas
We can sit back and relax
And watch It's a Wonderful Life
Everything will be alright next xmas
It's all falling into place
You'll be strolling off the edge of that knife
I know at mom and dad's
There's a better meal
But you can go there tomorrow
Just like every year
Tonight you don't have to
Put on a face
We can all be ourselves
And we won't say grace
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2. |
Shinny, Shinny, Shinny
02:09
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Shinny, Shinny, Shinny
It's almost time for Xmas, Hanukkah and the Pagan Winter Festival
The days have gotten really short and the nights are really cold
But stop your crying 'cause it's good news in disguise
Soon the rinks will open up oh yeah soon there will be ice!
Let's go and play some shinny
Don't you love this time of year?
Shinny, shinny, shinny
Call up some friends 'cause game time's almost here
Let's play shinny
'Cause we love this time of year!
Shinny, shinny, shinny
Yeah, game time's almost here
Sticks in the middle, get the little kids all playing in the game
Some of them are way too fast and they put us all to shame
But it just means we can be lazy, stupid jerks
Just coast around and let them do all of the work
Afterwards we'll go have dinner with the girls
But then there's nothing else to do
They wanna lace them up with us, so back out to the rink
The ice is waiting for game 2!
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3. |
Santa vs. Jack Chick
02:12
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Santa Versus Jack Chick
We said it might be a tumour
I guess we shouldn't have joked like that
'Cause now your end is near
The comic book that lady gave you
I know it scared you real good
But you still have one last christmas here
So even though Jack Chick says
There's no fuckin' way you're going to heaven when you die
No fuckin' way
Even though Jack Chick says
That god or jesus or maybe some other guy
Won't let you in
Don't you worry
'Cause we were sorting through your spam
Found a message from Santa
And he told us all his plans
Santa says
He's gonna make you your own heaven for when you die
What a guy
Santa says
You don't gotta take any savior like Jack thinks
And Jack's a dink
So don't you worry
'Cause we were sorting through your spam
The best present from Santa
Since he got you Green Eggs & Ham
Santa says
Your heaven's gonna be for all the good boys and girls
And cats, dogs, rats, frogs, horses, even squirrels
Santa says
He's gonna make Chick Maggot finish this stupid song
It's way too long
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4. |
Rudolph Whupped My Ass
02:52
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Rudolph Whupped My Ass
Once upon a time
The night of xmas eve
I don't know what I was doing, I should've been asleep
I heard something on the roof
Woke me up at half past 3
Stupid me I had to go up and see
I wasn't quite prepared for what I'd find that night
9 fuckin' reindeer and no Santa Claus in sight
I swear it wasn't greed
Just my own curious way
I had to check out the goods in the back of that sleigh
I really should've know better
At the time I wasn't thinking straight
By the time Santa came to my rescue it was much too late
But then Rudolph
Rudolph whupped my ass
His red nose blur and hooves were way too fast
Rudolph
Rudolph went to work
And he kicked me in the nuts just to be a jerk
Rudolph
Rudolph cracked my head
I wished I'd never come up or left my bed
Rudolph
Rudolph wrecked my knee
He stole my wallet to add insult to injury
Rudolph
Rudolph broke my neck
He got me in a headlock; it hurt like heck
Rudolph
Rudolph beat me to the ground
And that slut Vixen kicked me while I was down
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5. |
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Here's Your Stupid Present
This year I bought you stupid crap for xmas
So I had to write a song that rocks
Here it is I sure hope you like it lots
Gotta write a better song than last year's
Does this one rock?
Merry xmas, here's your stupid present
And have a happy New Year
This one, it's got a little hook, I like it
I sure hope that you feel the same
I stole the notes from A White Christmas
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6. |
Auld Lang Syne
01:28
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Auld Lang Syne
SHOULD auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
sHOULD auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
And ther's a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie's a hand o' thine;
We'll tak' a right gud-wellie waught
For auld lang syne.
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Brand Shiny (B.S.) Recording Co. Edmonton, Alberta
BRAND SHINY Recording Co. is a squirrel that lives in the bowels of Edmonton, destroying, one by one, the worst minds of our generation. The facts are straight: BRAND SHINY is the mouse in the walls. Try your best to ignore it. Since 2000 it’s been dropping dooks on its own feet. Those who believe have had a hard life trying to explain it to people, trying to fit in at work or in the class room. ... more
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